I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize