Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
