belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
