I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
