You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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