I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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