remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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