either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
