If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
