no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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