Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
