tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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