so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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