Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
