Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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