it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
