dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They took my balls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
