So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
