My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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