The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
