I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
