I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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