Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
