It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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