My pussy is not your playground.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
