WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
