Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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