Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
