this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
