some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
