He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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