My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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