3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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