; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
