This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
