SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
