I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
