Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
