just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
