just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
