Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
