I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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