If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
