I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
