feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
