we have officially lost it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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