Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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