My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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