Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
