how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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