Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize