I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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