Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize