she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
