He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
