party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
