You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
