someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
