Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
