2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
