what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize