he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
