She's JV to your varsity
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize