I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
