They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
