I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
