guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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