Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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