11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We're too hungover to prance.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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