maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
