You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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