well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
