Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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