Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize